List it

I have writer's block. Ironically, one of the things that usually cures it is writing - about something else entirely. Stream of consciousness stuff works best. For me, that means either a very angsty "My So-Called Life"-esque diary entry, or a list. And since I'm having wine, a list is safer. It's simple - I let my mind wander, I only give myself 20 minutes, and you reap the dubious benefits.

1) The calendar in my office is still on April. The month my dad got sick. Don't need to delve too deeply into that one, hmm?

2) "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" just came on my playlist. Chair dancing has ensued.

3) I am allergic to giraffes.

4) My current favourite lipgloss is called Lollipop. Very Lolita, I know, but, damn, it looks good.

5)  I've gone a week without a burger. That ends when I hit publish on this thing.

6) Moscato is delicious (and an essential part of this evening's writing).

7) I had a Snuffleupagus puppet on my hand this afternoon. Related: I do a terrible Snuffleupagus impression.

8) My Jane Goodall autographed Far Side is right above my desk. Meeting one of your childhood idols is otherworldly, awesome, and deeply affecting. I was truly humbled by every word she spoke in my presence. In that tiny office, with a handful of people, her quiet grace enveloped me. Best day on the job, hands down.

9) I was guilted into going on the Kraken rollercoast in Florida by a 12 year-old. I retaliated by coercing him into going on Manta, the one where you hang underneath. As we tilted forward, I heard "Oh my god, Vicki, I don't know about this." You're welcome, Zak.

10) Julie Brown tweeted me a few months ago. If you loved "Earth Girls are Easy" as much as I did, you'll know why I was so stoked.

11) I was kind of checked out by a fairly big name movie star in a London cafe recently. Or, I was chatting loudly with my tablemates and he was just wondering who the boisterous Canadian was, but I prefer option A.

12) I make fucking awesome homemade mac and cheese.

13) My next tattoo will probably be an e.e. cummings quote.

14) I'm running out of time and now all I can think of are sex things you guys don't need to know.

15)  I have 4 minutes left. Um...I'm an awesome kisser.

16) I'm probably going to watch "Sliding Doors" tonight for the dozenth time and notice something I've never noticed before. Or, I'm going to watch some terrible action movie and deny it later.

17) All the women in my family on Mom's side can roll their tongues.

18) I have no idea how I got from "action movie" to rolling my tongue. Insert joke here.

19) 1 minute left. I can do an excellent cockney accent.

20) I secretly think I make better cupcakes than almost any shop in town. At least it was secretly.

Done. Don't know if it helped the writer's block, but man, I can type fast.