Job skills?

The Sunshine Girl. Are you familiar? The Sun newspapers publish a daily photo of an undoubtedly pretty young woman who is usually giving sexy face to the camera, often while wearing something silky/skimpy/see-through. A friend emailed me last week about that day's picture, a bit miffed over just who thought having the girl pull her own hair would sex things up. Now this didn't bother me nearly as much as it did her. I assume these girls, most of whom are in their late teens/ very early 20s, want to break into modelling; hair-pulling is sort of in the starter kit. The Sun isn't exactly showing pictures of journalism majors and aspiring pediatricians. Now, I would hope people buy their morning paper for the headlines, and not for a little side boob and some lip licking to go along with their large black, two sugars. But pretty girls in very little clothing isn't new. I myself own a pair of vintage nude photos from the 20s (the 1920s, not my 20s), and I think those models were probably the Sunshine girls of their day, except with real breasts. My problem with the Sunshine bunch is this: when did young women go from aspiring to seeing their bylines to aspiring to seeing their boobs in the morning broadsheet? Has taking your clothes off become step one on the career path? I always thought it was lining up really good references.

I've said it before; I was a card-carrying, asymetrical haircut-wearing member of the John Hughes generation. I grew up with the Brat Pack as my celebrity role models. Molly Ringwald interviewed John Hughes for Seventeen magazine. These days, Lindsay Lohan is interviewed by the police for a hobby. Sure, the Pack misbehaved, even got arrested (though not my Molly), but it was neither a rite of passage nor a career booster. They got in trouble and suffered the consequences. Remember when Rob Lowe was caught on videotape having sex with two women, one of whom was only 16 to his 24? It was a huge scandal, and his career and reputation took a big hit. For the most part, there were people who took their clothes off, there were actual celebrities, and there were people who broke the law again and again. We called them criminals. The lines are pretty blurry nowadays, and I don't think it's my contacts. Now, an arrest for pretty much anything short of murder is merely an inconvenience, nude photos have replaced business cards, and a sex tape doesn't hurt a career, it begins one. Case in point: Kim Kardashian. Did anyone know who she was before the sex tape that she focus grouped vehemently opposed was released? Sometimes, it seems like the only celebrity whose career trajectory hasn't benefitted from a naughty tape is Betty White.

So when did this happen? When did being kinda slutty, and possibly felonious, become an internship on the way to success? What happened to actually doing something to earn the accolades, the perks, the fan base? Mug shots and NSFW screen captures have replaced the cover of People magazine. Sometimes they are the cover of People magazine.

I think it happened right around the time Paris Hilton figured out how to turn on a video camera. Which, let's be honest, she probably needed help with. Because of her night vision know-how, young women (and probably some men) realized they didn't actually need to accomplish anything to be on every entertainment show, every magazine, every gossip website, even much of the mainstream news media. No,they merely needed to have sex with some loser while the little red light blinked, act mortified when the loser sold the footage, hire a publicist and presto - instant fame. Or infamy. They're the same thing these days. And fyi, I don't think those are the type of job skills your guidance counsellor was talking about. Granted, Paris Hilton still has to live with the fact that she's Paris Hilton, but she did get her own perfume. Which I suspect smells of spermicide and spray tanner, with a hint of chihuahua, drying down to a finish that's equal parts entitlement and self-loathing.

Paris' pal Kim Kardashian must've been taking notes. She has changed the face (and ass) of celebrity, literally parlaying her sex tape into a multi-million dollar business empire. I've mentioned her before, because I'm fascinated by her career. And like it or not, she has as incredibly successful career. I don't understand how a young woman, even one as pretty as her (or as pretty as she was, before she started Madam-izing her face) is supposed to make me want to buy something simply because she's known for being nakedly photogenic. But she has television shows, a perfume (of course), a clothing line (including booty shorts that say "a** like damn"), calendars, an upcoming book, even a cupcake mix, so clearly someone, many someones in fact, are buying what she's selling, literally and figuratively. And let's back that ass like damn up a sec. She's primarily known for a sex tape and her remarkable posterior, yes? So I get the calendar. But what in the hell does that have to do with cupcakes? The Kim Kardashian Vanilla Cupcake mix, more accurately. $13(US) will get you enough batter for 18 cupcakes. I don't know about you, but given how her whole career started, I'm a little reluctant to read the ingredient list.

I suppose I should say good for her. She's clearly turned what could have been a life-long embarrassment ( I mean, seriously, Ray J? You couldn't make the tape with Reggie Bush?) into countless opportunities. But I kind of hate that she could, so easily, with seemingly no downside. Besides, does anyone think for a second the tape wasn't the first item on her world domination to-do list? If you don't get that, I'd suggest a reality pill. If you have a problem taking pills, have someone hide it in a Kim Kardasian Vanilla cupcake.

Don't get me wrong. Pictures of sexy young women are often quite lovely, and I think making a sex tape, under the right circumstances, could be a lot of fun. I just don't think either should serve as a resume. And I worry that many young women today are aiming low, replacing a cover letter with covering their nipples and smiling coyly for the camera, stars in their eyes and their very own perfume part of their five-year plan.